Where Does My Lady Live?

The other day, Dan told me that the kids had been asking him some "adoption" questions. I have done so much in preparation for these times. Trying to make sure that I have answers that are age appropriate and also let them know the truth. And with three children ages 2, 3, and 4 the questions are going to come! But we will not know just how each child will do with learning about it, until we just go through it.

Our dog had puppies about 4 wks ago and the kids are REALLY into how that all happened. They talk about how Gertie "laid" puppies :) This comes from us having chickens and the chickens laying eggs. They have asked if Gertie is the puppies mommy and all the normal questions. But the other day they asked Dan "who laid me?" Dan said he explained that they did not grow in my tummy, but in another woman's tummy. He told them that the other woman was sick because of taking bad drugs and could not take care of them.

Dan was wearing his T-shirt with a picture of the United States on it, covered in stars and stripes. Ben has always asked where we live on the picture and we point to it. Dan said a little bit after their little conversation, Ben came up and asked "where does my lady live?"

It is neat to hear what they come up with, and how they are thinking about things.

* (on a side note)Personally, I like how Ben put it. To me, (this is just MY opinion) the title of "MOM" is earned. It is not something that is just handed out because you conceive. You earn the title by your action AFTER you conceive. The selfless act of giving your child up for adoption, because you know it is best for your baby, is an act of a mother. Abusing your child until the state takes them away, to me does not merit the "mom" status. We do talk to the kids about their "birth mom" (and will continue to do so) but I like how my son put it. His "lady".*

They are growing and starting to understand. Their story books are working out GREAT and it seems to answer all their questions so far. When they were babies, there were no questions. We were just a family. And now we begin the explanation of "how we became a family".

Just last night Ben was laying on the couch and looked over at me and said "did we live in a different home before we lived here with you and daddy?" I said "yes, for a little while until God said it was time for you to come live with mom and dad." He was fine with that answer. I see them starting to understand. Little R's adoption should be final in the spring or summer of next year. I know this will be a neat time for our family. Going to court, and being able to explain to B and H that we did the same thing for their adoption (they were too little to remember). This will be another time when we expect more questions.

My prayer is that while we go through this time of questioning, that our answers will give them a positive feeling about being adopted and to be grounded and firm in the fact that God himself is the one who put our family together one piece at a time