"My Mom Said"

When I was told I would not be able to have babies without "intervention" my world changed. I was faced with personal decisions. Decisions that made Dan and I have to take time and pray... A LOT! We had to really take our time and make sure we were doing what we felt the Lord was leading our family to do. So as the doctor explained just exactly what "intervention" meant in our case, my heart sank. We knew it was not for our family. It was something that we both felt the same about. And it was heart breaking.

For the most part, we have been supported in this. With understanding...or at least in front of us. :) As I know everyone will have their own thoughts about it. But in the end it was up to Dan and I.

There have been some who have hinted that it is not "natural" for me to not want to "do whatever it takes" to get pregnant. Or that I must not want it, like other woman. One comment that comes to mind was made by a young child, about 3 years after deciding to not use infertility treatments. This child asked me why I did not have any babies. And I said "cause God has not sent me any yet". The child responded "my mom said if you really wanted a baby, you could have one".

It is frustrating to me, how choosing not to go the path of infertility treatments has made it seem like I did not have the same degree of desire for a pregnancy and a baby. When talking with someone, and sharing the wonderful way God used adoption to create our family, I often get questions like this... "so what kind of fertility treatments did you try?" or " have you tried that IVF thing?" and when I answer "no we decided that fertility treatments were not for us" I get the most confused looks. As if I am so STRANGE for not going as far as it takes to get a biological child.

I am so so so so extremely grateful that we made the choice we did. It is why we now have the three children we were meant to have! My children were not "plan B". They are not just what we got cause we tried everything else under the sun first. They are what was PLANNED by God. My Benjamin, my Hannah  and my little Ruthie girl. There are no biological links between us, but they take after me, they learn from me, and I am their mama.

I will always carry some sadness because I was never able to give birth to a child.  I am a woman and God has put that desire in me.  But I would not change a thing, because it brought me my sweet babies! 

I did REALLY REALLY REALLY want a baby! And God gave me THREE! How blessed am I!!!!!