Today, the kids and I were doing our normal routine. Outside time and checking the mailbox. The kids were excited to get the "Curious George Goes to the Doctor" movie from netflix. We all walked out to the mail box, well Ben "ran" and Hannah asked me to carry her because "bubba too fast". She is so little and gets frustrated that she can't keep up with him when he is running. We got out to the box and I reached in getting the pile of mail, half of which I knew would go right into the trash....junk mail. We walked back to the yard and the kids busied themselves with playing while I set the mail down and began to read my book, not bothering to go through the pile of mail.
Hannah, as usual, started to climb up on the riding lawn mower, and just as I said "sissy stay off the tracker" (she calls it a tracker) her little foot slipped and she landed right on the guard. She let out a scream and my book went right on the ground as I dashed across the yard to check her. If you know Hannah she is a tough little girl and if she screams or cries, then she must be pretty hurt. She was still laying there, not trying to get up when I made it to her and I was so scared that there was going to be something really bad wrong when I lifted her up. THANKFULLY she was just scared out of her mind and frozen with fear. She sat with me and cried a little until she knew she was okay. I checked her over and was grateful for no big goose eggs or bruises. She already has a bad bruise on her for head from running with her blanket over her face down the hall and her loving brother pushing her into the corner of the wall, on Monday morning! My mind went back to when we would have weekly visits from the social worker and how that every time Hannah fell, I would worry what the social workers would think. We have not had a social worker come for over a year now, but my mind still went back to that time. And I was grateful to be free of "the system".
Hannah hopped off my lap and ran to play. I bent over to get my book and saw the pile of mail and grabbed it to look through it. I flipped through and stopped when I saw a envelope address to Dan and I from the child protective offices, that we received Ben and Hannah from. WHAT??? I had just thought about that not seconds before. So I opened it, not sure what I would find. There was a little hospital baby bracelet and the pink "I'm A Girl" card from the hospital with my little girls information on it!!! I was so excited!!!! The little things like that, from the birth of my children mean so much to me! ANY LITTLE part of those days mean the world to me. I am so thankful that their social worker, who found them, was sweet enough to make sure we got them!
It is so wonderful to receive these things, and also a little bitter sweet. I will always feel the sadness of missing the birth of my kids. Because I am 100 % their mom, just like any other mama who gave birth, I just was not there, when they were born. But things like the bracelet and the "I'm A Girl" card help so much. Like when I called the hospital and told them the situation and they gave me the pass word to get their birth pictures! Those little things seem so big to me!!
It may sound weird, but I am thankful for my infertility. I am thankful because without infertility, we would not have these wonderful souls here with us. These two beautiful babies who fill our lives with joy and bless each of our days. There will always be the sad parts, but the blessings are so So SO much more than then the bad. God sure knew what He was doing and He KNEW we needed BENJAMIN and HANNAH!
So today I am cherishing this little surprise gift in the mail.
GOD IS SO GOOD, GOD IS SO GOOD, GOD IS SO GOOD, HE'S SO GOOD TO ME!
Hannah, as usual, started to climb up on the riding lawn mower, and just as I said "sissy stay off the tracker" (she calls it a tracker) her little foot slipped and she landed right on the guard. She let out a scream and my book went right on the ground as I dashed across the yard to check her. If you know Hannah she is a tough little girl and if she screams or cries, then she must be pretty hurt. She was still laying there, not trying to get up when I made it to her and I was so scared that there was going to be something really bad wrong when I lifted her up. THANKFULLY she was just scared out of her mind and frozen with fear. She sat with me and cried a little until she knew she was okay. I checked her over and was grateful for no big goose eggs or bruises. She already has a bad bruise on her for head from running with her blanket over her face down the hall and her loving brother pushing her into the corner of the wall, on Monday morning! My mind went back to when we would have weekly visits from the social worker and how that every time Hannah fell, I would worry what the social workers would think. We have not had a social worker come for over a year now, but my mind still went back to that time. And I was grateful to be free of "the system".
Hannah hopped off my lap and ran to play. I bent over to get my book and saw the pile of mail and grabbed it to look through it. I flipped through and stopped when I saw a envelope address to Dan and I from the child protective offices, that we received Ben and Hannah from. WHAT??? I had just thought about that not seconds before. So I opened it, not sure what I would find. There was a little hospital baby bracelet and the pink "I'm A Girl" card from the hospital with my little girls information on it!!! I was so excited!!!! The little things like that, from the birth of my children mean so much to me! ANY LITTLE part of those days mean the world to me. I am so thankful that their social worker, who found them, was sweet enough to make sure we got them!
It is so wonderful to receive these things, and also a little bitter sweet. I will always feel the sadness of missing the birth of my kids. Because I am 100 % their mom, just like any other mama who gave birth, I just was not there, when they were born. But things like the bracelet and the "I'm A Girl" card help so much. Like when I called the hospital and told them the situation and they gave me the pass word to get their birth pictures! Those little things seem so big to me!!
It may sound weird, but I am thankful for my infertility. I am thankful because without infertility, we would not have these wonderful souls here with us. These two beautiful babies who fill our lives with joy and bless each of our days. There will always be the sad parts, but the blessings are so So SO much more than then the bad. God sure knew what He was doing and He KNEW we needed BENJAMIN and HANNAH!
So today I am cherishing this little surprise gift in the mail.
GOD IS SO GOOD, GOD IS SO GOOD, GOD IS SO GOOD, HE'S SO GOOD TO ME!
2 comments:
I'm glad for your infertility, too... er, wait... lol I'm SOOOOOOOOOO thankful for Ben and Hannah and I suspect God still has many blessing in store for you guys!
YAY! Love this post!
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