Backwards

The other day, the kids and I were at the doctors office. When the visit was ending, the doctor said to "have a good Thanksgiving". I said we would and that we are "very blessed". The doctor then said something, that people have said on other occasions, that just seems a little hard to swallow. She looked at my kids and said "those kids are so lucky". Now I totally get what she was trying to say. And it is a nice thing to say, but it feels backwards! There is an instant feeling in my gut that knows it is the other way around. And although I completely understand the statement and that it is only ever said from a friendly heart, it is just simply not the way it is.

I wonder sometimes, if the kids hear this over and over, how it might make them feel. They understand more and more everyday.

I mean when a couple has a baby, the friends and family all come in to visit. They look at the baby and then to the parents and tell the parents how Lucky, (or I prefer to say blessed) they are to have that little one. You almost never see them walk up and look at the baby and say "how lucky you are".

It is not that it makes me mad in anyway, it just makes me think, "they must not know". Because as I look at my babies there could never be a time where I could say to them, that THEY are the blessed ones. (in regards to having them, we are all blessed to be alive and provided for)

We started the process of adoption, because we wanted to be parents. And the moment that chubby baby boy was carried into meet us, we became parents. And HE was the joy, the blessing, the fulfillment of dreams. It was the same with his sister, 6 months later. We are the blessed ones. We get to tuck them in at night. Hear their prayers to our Savior, watch them learn to share, and write and color and fight. The house is filled with giggles, and crying and blankies and "wockets" and the occasional little voice yelling from the bathroom "it's wipe'n time mom"!!!!

There is just ONE way to see it for me. I am the one who is blessed. I don't ever want them to think, that they should "thank their lucky stars" that they are with us, because that is not how it is. It is the other way around. I think we can ALL say "but for the grace of God".

So maybe, the next time you are tempted to say to an adoptive parent how Lucky their kids are to be adopted by them, switch it around and let the parents know that you see just how blessed THEY are to have their children. Especially in front of the children. The children will hear that THEY are the blessings, and feel great about who, and where they are.