One day about a month ago, Ben and I were talking and he asked me about where he went after he was born. I told him about his first foster home he lived in for 3 months, and how much they loved him and cared for him. I told him that they were like a grandma and grandpa, and they took care of him until God sent mommy and daddy. He looked at me and asked me "when are we gonna have to leave and get adopted again?" Right then I knew something had not made the right connection!!! I just assumed that when I said he was adopted by mom and dad, that he knew it was FOREVER and we would never leave. It scared me to think that he was not secure in this concept! So began the process of reassuring our kids just was adoption means and that we will be a family forever! I shared what Ben said with Dan and we made it a point to bring it up and make sure that they understood they would never be leaving us. So for a month now I have been bringing it up. "hey guys, how long are mommy and daddy gonna be your mommy and daddy?" and they now say "forever!" to which I say "are you ever going to be adopted again?" and they say in unison "NO". The other day the three kids were sitting at the table eating lunch. I was in the kitchen and I heard Ben say "girls, how long is mommy and daddy gonna be our mommy and daddy?" and the girls said "forever!" and Ben said "yep that's right!". I think it is sinking in!
This has really opened my eyes. Just because I think they have understood a concept, I need to be aware of gaps! I need to make sure they can talk to me and ask me questions, so that I can correct any misconceptions they might have. They are still little, only 2, 4, and 5 so some things will be misunderstood and confused. I am glad he asked me. Would no want him scared that he would have to leave at some point! They are STUCK with us!!! :)
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